June Updates, so far.
If I had ever learned, I would have been a great proficient.
I promise there’s a reason I’m using a Pride and Prejudice gif for today’s newsletter. Sit tight.
This time on The Nice Capades…
As the Grand Prix assignments get closer, people are announcing things.
Nika Egadze is a seventh wheel?
Maybe you should actually stop reading this newsletter and go do something.
It’s mid-June, so it’s time to check in on the skaters and their summer vacations. Today, you’re in for a smorgasbord of updates. Let’s get into it.
To the surprise of pretty much no one, Olympians Emily Chan and Spencer Howe are officially dunzo. The cat leaped out of the bag a few weeks ago when Spencer and Audrey Shin showed up together on the International Ice Academy of Colorado’s Instagram page. And then Chan/Howe had to do the awkward thing where they stayed together for the kids while they went to Thailand as a team for a Skating Club of Boston trip. Pretty much the second they touched down back in the US, Emily posted their official break-up announcement, and Audrey Shin posted an official new partnership announcement, winking at the worst kept secret in US Pairs. Here’s hoping everyone is now with partners they enjoy working with?
Speaking of partners, Hannah Lim is teasing a partner but not saying who yet. If it’s not Zak Lagha, I will eat my socks. Not even sure why they’re being coy at this point. Learn from your girl Audrey Shin and just get it over with.
I feel like Heidi Klum here, but GuiLo are In and Chock/Bates are out. At least for this season. Truly bummed about the GuiLo news, for obvious reasons, but especially because we are looking at four years of them just coasting to dominant wins in everything. With ice dance partner shuffles and the fun young teams, I really wish we could see a changing of the guard in Ice Dance instead of a continuation of immaculately beautiful but boring skating from people who are hard to root for.
Gird your loans: The Russians are coming. The ISU discussed allowing juniors back into international competition during their recent Congress. We don’t know the outcome of that discussion, yet, but given the multiple other sports feds welcoming Russians back into competition, I would be shocked if the ISU holds firm on this one. There’s simply too much money in Russia, and their reasons for banning them are not quite holding up at this point, given that they’re not applying the same rules to other countries. And we all know the ban is really about doping, and they can’t really prove that’s universal, so I personally think we’re looking at a return en force, not just the juniors. Trusova is already jumping quads with her postpartum body (she gave birth in August 2025, for reference), so God help us all. The Women’s event was great for a full four years, and we’ll always that.
Meanwhile, Benoit Richaud is hosting his usual summer camp for elite skaters, and it’s essentially a couples retreat + Nika Egadze. I’m sorry, I know he skates under Eteri and we have have to side eye him, but I now I’m forced to like him because look.
If you’re into the inside baseball of skating’s technical rules, Jackie Wong has all the goods on the ISU Congress and the changes they’re considering for skating. Some of this is noise to me, but I’m intrigued by the idea of Grand Prix semi-finals, though I worry about skater stamina if you add another level of competition into the mix. I suspect we’ll see skaters start to skip more events rather than attend everything.
Jackie is also saying the Grand Prix Assignments are likely to be announced this week. This tracks because we’ve had a flurry of announcements this week, probably as skaters confirm news before we see it live on the assignments. I would guess they will release the second I hit Submit on this post because it seems like that’s when all big news comes out lately… immediately after I say, “Yeah, no way that will happen.” Paid subscribers, I’ll slap together a reaction post for us to debrief when the assignments are official.
Ilia Malinin supposes you are tolerable, but not handsome enough to tempt him. (This whole photoshoot is bonkers. I also like the one where he looks like he’s the page for a fairytale queen, and he’s just been summoned to test her food for poison or something. Go click through.)
Three Non-Figure Skating Things
Call me basic, but I am completely charmed by World Cup tourists being alternately baffled and delighted by North America. (NBC News) Freddy is, of course, the OG wholesome choice. (Though the various celebrities now getting in on the fun with him are starting to wear.) I promise your algorithm will start feeding you all kinds of options once you peruse Freddy’s posts. I’m especially fond of the various Scots taking bagpipes with them EVERYWHERE.
Trader Joe’s alert: The Root Beer Float Pieces are back! I bought two bags and already regret not buying more to save for a rainy day. And if you’re feeling some swells of patriotism this summer, I can also recommend these Red, White, and Blue Cookie Bites that are vaguely fruity. I think they could work particularly well with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.
I usually start my day by casually scrolling the Substack feed with my phone four inches from my face, so imagine how this specific essay stopped me in my tracks. I can’t stop thinking about it.
What’s Next: Grand Prix assignments are imminent! When they drop, come back and talk to me about them!
lol forever at that photoshoot. Sometimes I wonder if that boy chuckles “Not all men are bred for war” to himself when he does stuff like this.
That photo spread is beyond words. I have NO WORDS.