'25 US Nats: The Men

Quadgod? More like Quaddog. I would like four dogs, please.

Senior US Nationals starts tomorrow! And I’m here at the buzzer to bring you the preview for the Men.

Y’all, for the first time in a few years, I’m least excited about the Men. The depth is just not there. I don’t know even know if we can say we’re in a rebuilding season like the US Pairs. Some of these guys have been around for years and just seem to be stalling out. Has anyone checked to see what Nathan Chen is doing this weekend? I bet he could fly in and win at least bronze, easily. Vincent Zhou, too, actually.

The Gold

Ilia Malinin: When asked about traveling to Wichita for Nationals, Ilia cheerfully pointed out that it’s the birthplace of Pizza Hut. I don’t know which person on his team fed him this factoid, but I’m delighted it’s the nugget that stuck with him. I hope someone takes him to dinner there after he wins.

Like Madison and Evan in Ice Dance, there’s just no way he doesn’t win unless he withdraws. Watching Ilia skate against the rest of this field is like watching Kelly Clarkson sing at your local karaoke bar. His technical abilities are just so far ahead of everyone else’s. Even if he falls a couple of times, he’ll still rack up enough points to come out ahead. He’s basically competing with himself— his last two outings at Nationals were less than perfect, and his last event on the Grand Prix was messy with every single jump called with an error in his free skate. True, he won all of these events. But he’ll want to shut up the haters, as the kids say. (The kids don’t say that.) He’ll want to prove he’s winning because he’s the best and not because everyone else had a worse day.

The Likely Silver?

Andrew Torgashev: Also known as Torgs or Pizza King. (In case you’re new here— Andrew once told an interviewer that he ate nothing but frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizza for months, and not because he was going through something, at least not that he admitted.) Ilia will win the gold, but Torgs will win spiritually. While Ilia is stumbling through his quads and still running up the score, Andrew is actually having the best season of any US Man. He’s been consistent, he’s adding difficulty, and he’s actually got the artistry instead of just saying he’s working on it like some other US skaters I could name. Ashley Wagner and Adam Rippon said they would take him out to the real California Pizza Kitchen if he manages two clean programs here, and that seems like the real gold at this event. I get that Ilia is our best chance for a World or Olympic medal and so the US Fed wants to throw all their support behind him, but I’m still hoping Andrew pulls an upset here. It would be great for him, and maybe it would light a fire under Ilia to clean up his programs.

I guess they have to give a bronze?

After Ilia and Torgs, it’s a crap shoot. Jason Brown withdrew from the event due to “equipment issues,” but even he hasn’t looked great this season. I read that he’s been having trouble with his skating boots, which may explain why his triple Axels have been dicey all season. I hope that’s all it is and that he figures it out and we magically see him perfect at Worlds and Team USA gets three Olympic spots and he gets one. Please, universe, we need this.

Of the remaining competitors, here’s my best guesses for who has a shot to land on the podium, though the men are chaotic enough that a random no-name could end up having the biggest night of their competitive life.

Jacob Sanchez: He’s my pick for bronze, even though his technical ceiling is low. He’s undefeated on the Junior Grand Prix circuit this season, and he seems to skate fairly clean. That may be all it takes.

Camden Pulkinen: Once seemed like a sure thing to be Ilia’s Vice President, but now he’s working full time as a banker while also trying to stay on the international skating circuit, and it doesn’t appear to be going great for him. Would not be surprised by a Camden retirement announcement if Nationals goes poorly.

Tomoki Hiwatashi: Chaos on Ice. Just truly no idea what he will do here. He’s a former Junior World champ, and so I think everyone keeps hoping he’ll figure it out, but he keeps looking lost out there. I believe he’s moved his training base to Japan, so now I worry he will be jet lagged Chaos on Ice.

Jimmy Ma: Total crowd pleaser, never picks boring emo music that you might hear on Grey’s Anatomy. Really wildly inconsistent, but all the US men are, so you might as well send him to Four Continents or something just because he’s interesting.

Daniel Martynov and Maxim Naumov: I honestly can’t remember the difference between these two, but they’ve done well enough in the past that maybe one of them could sneak on the podium. I think Max has a Tron program this year, so that’s fun?

My Prediction: Ilia, Torgs, and…. Johnny Weir? I don’t know. I guess Jacob Sanchez.

Three Non-Figure Skating Things: Three Daylists Spotify Has Created for Me

• acceptance baking saturday morning (Actually great.)

• ice skating film score friday morning (Weird because I don’t seek out songs from skating events or playlists of program music, but some how Spotify still knew.)

• 80s ancient music wednesday evening (The first song on this one was Natalie Imbruglia’s “Torn,” so it was inaccurate AND offensive.)

What’s Next: A quick little bonus newsletter tomorrow to get you fired up to watch.